5 Jan: Second Sunday Squirt?

So, I went out to eat for lunch. And right before we get our food, I get those familiar rumblings. And I can tell it's going to be messy. So I go to the men's room, and it's right next to the door. The door leads to the 25 degree outside. So the bathroom was cold. The toilet seat was cold. So, I sit down and--BRAAAAP. A bubbly, gurgly noxious mess. Really not very pooagenic.