28 February: Monday schleetzelforst.

Didn't poo gift thing this morning. This one took a while to brew. As I was walking into the bathroom, I belted out s big fart, say I thought that may have ruined the poo. But it didn't. I squeezed out a few little turdlets at the end. And then wipe, wipe, wipe. And more wipe. Kind of an interesting poo though. Long pale colored log. It works. It's poo! 

eNjoy.

27 February: Sunday schloozkie

Two sips into my first cup of coffee I had to poo! Sometimes the poo is impatient. It wants out when it wants out. Who am I to say no? This poo was orangish. Yesterday's poo was a darkish green. Poo never ceases to amaze me. 

eNjoy.

26 February: Saturday goolphlinder.

This poo got me out of bed this morning. Much earlier than I should have been up. And it turned out to be a big, phloey pile. A pile o' poo. Not exciting. But poo is poo. There you go.

eNjoy.

25 February: Friday clarjunkster.

So, I didn't poo Wednesday or Thursday. I'm not sure why because my diet didn't change much. Then Friday's poo was GOOEY. Exactly in between soft and hard. I had to squeeze it out like stuffy serve ice cream. And gooey means a LOT of wiping. I wiped 4 times with regular TP and once with a wet wipe. Reminded me of an old Richard Pryor bit about having to wipe your ass for 5 hours. That's what I felt like. I'm glad most poos aren't like this. It sucked. Wiping and wiping and I still didn't feel clean. (sigh)

eNjoy.

22 February: Tuesday spoobgortner.

Started the day off with a nice poo. Still pooing at home. I can't remember the last time I pooed I'm a public restaurant. When I eventually go back into the office, I hope I remember how to poop in public. Ha! Who am I kidding? I could poop on national TV with multiple cameras on me. I'm the poo champ! Champion pooer of the world. Oh there was a poo tournament, I'd win, hands down! There you go!

eNjoy.

21 February: Monday phoolerspourn.

Woke up this morning, and guess what? I had to poo!! The poo just never stops! I've said it before--I love to poo! Taking a shit is like a religious experience. I just wish they wouldn't slide out so fast. I'd like to savor the feeling. But hey, it is what it is, right? I'm just glad I get to do it every day. Small pleasures. 

eNjoy.

20 February: Sunday florchumple.

Drank a lot of vodka last night. So I slept late this morning. Two sips into my first cup of coffee and I had to poo. I sat down and just phlapped it out. I just unlimber the old bunghole, give a quick heave and out comes poo! And not a bad looking poo. My poos have been dark lately and this one was a bright, orangish brown. This works. 

eNjoy.