31 January: Sunday glumperspoink.

So, the poo keeps coming. And coming. And coming. Today's poo waited until about 1 pm. So it came a little later. Kind of blurgy and gloopy. Nicely floating. Dark but a nice color. 

eNjoy.

30 January: Saturday double chlagubble.

Didn't poo at all Friday. Pooed twice yesterday. Big poos. First poo was much more solid than my poos normally are. I had to push that bad boy out. That's rare. Second poo was substantial, but not as solid. There you go: big fat two poo day!

28 January: Thursday jorblunter.

Didn't poo Tuesday or Wednesday. Be I told you that would happen when I went back on a low carb diet. I poo less. And my poos were usually not as soft. The was the case Thursday. Nice, big solid poo log. Medium consistency. That meant a lot of wiping. A LOT of wiping. But a nice poo pic. 

eNjoy.

25 January: Monday no pic.

So, crapped twice Monday. First time directly after a HUGE salad for lunch. I RAN to the bathroom. That shit came out of my asshole like a nuclear torpedo. It exploded out of my ass. Second poo came an hour later. Similar explosion, smaller nuclear torpedo. Something about big salads just turn the contents of my bowel into very impatient liquid. These poos were liquid, so not much to see. Poo soup. I just had to tell you about the experience.

24 January: Sunday muftruffle.

So, I feasted Friday night and Saturday, so I shit several times Saturday. I want sure if I'd poo Sunday--i shouldn't have worried. The poo was sinker, so this was taken at an angle (to avoid the flash mirroring in the water). Kind of cool little poo.

eNjoy.

Another dinosaur turd.

Got this from Instagram. 48 million year old dinosaur turd. Technically called a "coprolite." Pretty cool. Poo is always interesting.

eNjoy.

23 January: Saturday clunchnucker.

Didn't poo on Friday. Saturday's poo was a big--blurgh. Came out in a glump. Not even a good picture. Just a big blob.

eNjoy.

21 January: Thursday scroogedumper.

Didn't poo on Wednesday. And dropped this gloppy mess the next day. Nice looking poo log. It wasn't hard or soft--it was in between. Sort of gooey and gummy. And you know what that means: I was wiping my ass for 3 hours. When poo is gummy like that it always leaves a lot of residue. Which means a lot of residue. And if you don't want that residue on your shorts, you have to wipe. A LOT. Oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do.

eNjoy.

18 January: Monday spoogegumper.

So, dropped this blorp after a big lunch. Came out in a big splooorp. Just, blap. Just a big, messy splat. 

eNjoy.

17 January: Sunday sporgchoggle.

Nice, big, fat poo logs for a Sunday. I wish all of my poos looked like this. Nice color, nice form. Good little chorklets. I taste this poo a 7 1/2.

eNjoy.

16 January: Saturday chintflabbing.

Didn't poo Thursday or Friday and then cheated Friday evening with beer and pizza. So I thought Saturday's poo would be significant. Had to poo first thing Saturday morning. And I had to push this bad boy out. It was definitely hesitant to come out and meet the world. And then it turns out to be--meh. Just okay.

eNjoy.

13 January: Wednesday splupplejink.

Didn't poo on Tuesday. This poo felt like a huge load coming out but ended up not being very impressive. Ah well. What do I always say? They can't all be winners.

eNjoy.

11 January: Monday blaggumwertz.

I didn't expect to poo Monday. But after a HUGE salad for lunch, I dropped this big mess. One thing that will absolutely make me poo is salad. And this is definitely a salad-induced poo. You can't really see any greens or veggies but this is plorp has a greenish cast.

eNjoy.

10 January: Sunday glunkchodder.

So, I decided to go low carb as of last Sunday. In Friday, I was down 5 1/2 pounds. In 6 days. Low carb works, folks. For anybody who's interested, Google "slow carb diet." The first time I did it, I took the supplements Tim Ferris recommended. I'm not taking them this time, and I don't think you need to, if you're considering this diet. But the diet works. But going low carb affects your poo. You don't poo as much. No doubt about it. Sundays poo was pretty cool. Light brown and glunky.

eNjoy.

9 January: Saturday glordonchim.

So, I'm doing low carb now. In my version of the "slow carb" diet, I fast a Friday until 6 pm and then my cheat day starts. I eat and drink anything I want to until I go to bed Saturday. So I feasted last night and today. Today I popped twice, but didn't have my phone for the second poop. So, yep. Carbs=pooing often. Low carb=pooing much less often. This wasn't a bad poo. Really. Deep brown and flunky. 

eNjoy.

7 January: Thursday flundchuggle.

So, right after I posted that I didn't anticipate daily bowel movements because I switched to a low carb diet, I had to take a shit. So, despite my low carb diet, right after a big bowl of chili for lunch, I had to take a dump. The picture below is that dump. Go figure. Like yesterday's dump, this one of dark and gooey. 

eNjoy.

6 January: Wednesday gloomchumpty.

So, I started a modified low-carb diet on Sunday.. For my readers who've been with me since the beginning, you know that means. It means less pooing. When I'm low carb, I poo every couple of days, at the most. So,. Wednesday's poo was the first poo since Sunday. There you go. Kind of an interesting poo. Dark and gooey. Who knows what the future holds? Stay tuned.

eNjoy.

3 January: Sunday chunkleblort.

Pooed twice yesterday, but they weren't good looking poos. Today's poo is a winner. Ooey and gooey and creamy and gooey. Chunky and gunky and ploopy and floppy. I rate this poo a 7.

eNjoy.

1 January: Friday stoomperjord.

Woke up this morning not too hungover. Had to poo before my coffee was ready. Felt like a big load--came out in fast, quick phlop. PHLOP. I was hoping for a ooey, gooey floater, but was disappointed. Not a super, spectacular poo for the new year. Oh well. There's always tomorrow. 

eNjoy.

31 December: New Year's Eve double scrablubbun.

So, pooed three times getting ready for the new year. Two were pooagenic enough to be included in the blog. Not really exciting poos. But they're still poo.

eNjoy.

30 December: Wednesday spommelcriden.

So, a very interesting poo. Definitive, bi-color poo. A very dark brown and a very light brown. Very cool poo. I rate this poo a 7 1/2.

eNjoy.

29 December: chordengluud.

Kind of a feathery, flaky, crinkly, chaky poo. Kind of ooey and gooey at the top. 

eNjoy.

28 December: Monday spudnucker.

So after Sunday's poopalooza, I wasn't looking forward to Monday. But I only pooed once Monday. Which was lucky because I went to a county park and walked around. It was okay. And the poo was pretty interesting. 

eNjoy.

Sunday bloody sunday.

So, I shit 6 times Sunday. The first crap got me out of bed at 4 am. I didn't have my phone, so, be no pic. And I just kept shitting. And shitting. And shitting. As I've said before, after 2 shits, my bunghole gets sore. Well, my bunghole got sore on Sunday. And yes, there was a trace of bloody residue on the TP. It happens. What sucks of I don't feel comfortable leaving the house when I'm shitting like that. Like, I'll be driving some place and all of a sudden, I'll have to shit. These urges come suddenly and immediately. When you gotta go, you gotta go. So I stay at home. Ugh. I think I need to change my diet. This just ain't right.