28 February: Monday schleetzelforst.

Didn't poo gift thing this morning. This one took a while to brew. As I was walking into the bathroom, I belted out s big fart, say I thought that may have ruined the poo. But it didn't. I squeezed out a few little turdlets at the end. And then wipe, wipe, wipe. And more wipe. Kind of an interesting poo though. Long pale colored log. It works. It's poo! 

eNjoy.

27 February: Sunday schloozkie

Two sips into my first cup of coffee I had to poo! Sometimes the poo is impatient. It wants out when it wants out. Who am I to say no? This poo was orangish. Yesterday's poo was a darkish green. Poo never ceases to amaze me. 

eNjoy.

26 February: Saturday goolphlinder.

This poo got me out of bed this morning. Much earlier than I should have been up. And it turned out to be a big, phloey pile. A pile o' poo. Not exciting. But poo is poo. There you go.

eNjoy.

25 February: Friday clarjunkster.

So, I didn't poo Wednesday or Thursday. I'm not sure why because my diet didn't change much. Then Friday's poo was GOOEY. Exactly in between soft and hard. I had to squeeze it out like stuffy serve ice cream. And gooey means a LOT of wiping. I wiped 4 times with regular TP and once with a wet wipe. Reminded me of an old Richard Pryor bit about having to wipe your ass for 5 hours. That's what I felt like. I'm glad most poos aren't like this. It sucked. Wiping and wiping and I still didn't feel clean. (sigh)

eNjoy.

22 February: Tuesday spoobgortner.

Started the day off with a nice poo. Still pooing at home. I can't remember the last time I pooed I'm a public restaurant. When I eventually go back into the office, I hope I remember how to poop in public. Ha! Who am I kidding? I could poop on national TV with multiple cameras on me. I'm the poo champ! Champion pooer of the world. Oh there was a poo tournament, I'd win, hands down! There you go!

eNjoy.

21 February: Monday phoolerspourn.

Woke up this morning, and guess what? I had to poo!! The poo just never stops! I've said it before--I love to poo! Taking a shit is like a religious experience. I just wish they wouldn't slide out so fast. I'd like to savor the feeling. But hey, it is what it is, right? I'm just glad I get to do it every day. Small pleasures. 

eNjoy.

20 February: Sunday florchumple.

Drank a lot of vodka last night. So I slept late this morning. Two sips into my first cup of coffee and I had to poo. I sat down and just phlapped it out. I just unlimber the old bunghole, give a quick heave and out comes poo! And not a bad looking poo. My poos have been dark lately and this one was a bright, orangish brown. This works. 

eNjoy.

19 February: Saturday liblingtrootz.

Got up early this morning and immediately had to poo. And this poo came out in a big farty sploot. Want then I had to poo again 30 minute later. Second poo was liquid. Ugh. I hope it's not going to be one of those days. We'll see.

eNjoy.

18 February: Friday joolunker.

Didn't poo Thursday because I crapped twice on Wednesday. It happens. What can I do? I poo, I take the picture, I blog. For my readers. This poo was a big glurp. I liked it. And then I flushed it. Because that's what you do with poo. You flush it. Poetic justice. For poo. 

eNjoy.

16 February: Wednesday double chertzmunger.

Dropped the first poo after I woke up. Second poo came after a big Mediterranean bowl from Mezzah. Good food. But that always makes me poo. Second poo was a plop. Kind of a plorp. A flop. Or a florp? Take your pick. Neither poo was spectacular, but it's still poo. 

eNjoy.

14 February: Monday chunzingjerd.

This poo sank, so I had to take the pic from an angle. Kind of an interesting perspective. Seems clearer. I like the texture. Good texture in poo is always neat. 

eNjoy.

13 February: Sunday loafchorken.

Big, fat Sunday poo loaves. Glunchy and gorchy. I like this poo. I'm not sure what it is, it's just likeable. 

eNjoy.

12 February: Saturday choolyblunker.

Another normal poo (for me). Thank God. A big, gloppy, pile o' poo. Dark and creamy. Oogie and glumpy. Excellent!

eNjoy.

11 February: Friday florperchoing.

So, my first normal poo in 3 days. Solid, more or less. Kind of a light, orangish brown and fluffy.. Anyway, it was nice to have a normal BM. I weighed myself Friday and was down 2 pounds. Trust most have been from the 2 days crapping liquid. I guess that's why anorexicx use laxatives. So more you know what you have to do to lose weight. 😳😳

eNjoy.

9 &10 February

So, I was in some intestinal distress Wednesday. I woke up at 3:30 am and had to poo. Completey liquid. Pooed again at 6. Then pooed 4 more times during the day. All liquid. My ass was on fire. I thought it might have been a precursor symptom of COVID. I took a rapid test that came back negative. 

I pooed once on Thursday. Liquid. But, I only pooed once. I did some googling, and it turns out, with no pain and no spasms (and no nausea) my problem likely wasn't sure to an infectious agent. Something upset the balance of my gut flora. Maybe too much alcohol. So, slowed down in the alcohol.

8 February: Tuesday chumpleglorn.

Had a nice poo Tuesday. Kind of an unassuming little poo. Kind of dark and gloopy. Oh well, it's poo. 

eNjoy.

7 February: Monday flugchunder.

Day off today. Woke up late, and dropped the poo in the upstairs bathroom. So it might look a little different. Kind of glorky and chunky. Meh. It is what it is. And it is poo. And poo and poo. 

eNjoy.

6 February: Sunday floojkartner.

So, I drank a lot last night. Vodka and rum. Fell asleep on the couch. Woke up late today. I had a quick little breakfast and then I had to poo. And poo I did. Just blorped it right out. Nice, pale colored nuglets. Floating. Nice looking poolets.

eNjoy.

5 February: Saturday clibbinsker.

Woke up early this morning and had a nice poo. Just a big, glurky pile o' poo. It started to tumble as soon as I got up to take the pic, so I had to take the picture fast. But I got the shot. I almost always get the shot. For you. My readers. You're welcome.

eNjoy.

4 February: Friday jumplezimpk.

I had to pop this out before a meeting on Friday. So I had to kind of, force it out before it was ready. So, it's a little...stunted. Not quite what it could have been had it been ready. And it's a little conflicted--part sinking and part floating. Ah well. What could have been.

eNjoy.

Stool softener?

I saw this ad on TV and felt like I had to share. I've never had to take a laxative or a stool softener. My poo always slorps right out. But I get it--sometimes people get stopped up. So if you no, consider Colace. Because I agree, "#2 should be easy to do."

3 February: Thursday splorkquenster.

Thursday poo. Sort of an undefined pile of poo. Not my best effort. But what are you going to do? It's still poo. And poo is poo.

eNjoy.

2 February: Wednesday sloofingboint.

Had a nice poo mid-week. Poos are trending dark this week. I have no idea why. My diet had been the same. Really weird how my poo can be dark brown one day and bright orange the next. Poo never ceases to amaze me. 

eNjoy.

1 February: Tuesday glumph.

Just a big pile of poo. Brown and glumpy. Not your typical log, but better than a big pile of mess.  I like this poo! This poo works! This poo is unassuming. This poo is unpretentious. Excellent poo!

eNjoy.