29 December: Wednesday splunktchormer.

This felt like a big load as it came slithering out of my bunghole. Didn't look as big when I took a look. And this one was a sinker. Went right to the bottom. Looks like old firewood. Weird. But cool. Because poo can be cool. 

eNjoy.

28 December: Tuesday flungergoost.

So, I woke up and immediately had to poo. So, this poo might look a little different because it was unloaded in the upstairs bathroom. This poo slid out on my bunghole in about 2/10ths of a second. Just, bluuurp! This poo was kind of ploofy. Cool little food nugget in the top left. This ploof started to disintegrate almost immediately. So I had to take picture fast. But, of course, I got the pic. 

eNjoy.

27 December: Monday wurmjintler.

So, the Christmas weekend is over. I pigged out all weekend. Lots of food, lots of drink. Did I cheat, and eat carbs? Yep, I sure did. Did I drink rum and vodka? Yep, I did. Did I poo? A lot? Yep, I did. Eat, drink and poo--that's what you do over the holidays! This poo was light and loafy. But okay. It works.

eNjoy.

26 December: Sunday grunkchooler.

Big, fat, chunky, glunky poo. Big, fat loaves. Gotta love this kind of poo. This is what happens when you pig out on Christmas day. Christmas day pigout poo. 

eNjoy.

25 December: Christmas porlglunker.

Woke up hungover Christmas day because i drank a lot of rum while watching "Bad Santa" Christmas Eve. I ate a lot Friday, but this day's load wasn't particularly impressive. Just random little chunklets. Ah well. Not a big poo day. 

eNjoy.

24 December: Friday plooftergoint.

Christmas Eve day big, fat poo loaf. They don't get much ploofier then this. Looks to big to have come squirming out of my bunghole. Nice poo pic. These are the ones I really like. Makes it all worth it. You're welcome.

eNjoy.

23 December: Thursday flumptychood.

Woke up Thursday morning and had a nice poo. Kind of dark and chunky. And there's another one.

eNjoy.

22 December: Wednesday splottergumpt.

Another poo that looks like a Chinese character. Other than that, not terribly exciting. 

eNjoy.

20 December: Monday joolblafter.

Dropped some loaflets on Monday. Nice looking poo. And a good poo pic. There you go. 

eNjoy.

19 December: Sunday droogblintzer.

Another hard poo this morning. A stiff stool. I sat down to poo and it was clear it wasn't just going to squirt out the way my poos normally do. So, after some pushing, and some more pushing, out it splopped. Nice looking poo. Good poo pic. You're welcome.

eNjoy.

18 December: Saturday phlabjinnier.

Woke up a little late this morning, and then had to poo. The fart presaged the poo. Then when I sat down, the poo didn't want to come. The poo was shy. The poo was HARD. This was a hard turd. Definitely a little uncomfortable as this bad boy was squeezing out of my bunghole. Luckily it didn't rip any blood vessels coming out because, well, no blood. Always a worry with hard turds and hemorrhoids. There you go, something to be thankful for 

eNjoy.

16 December: Thursday colperstrood.

Felt like a had to poo Thursday, and but was disappointed in the little squirt florts the came out. I thought the turds would be firmer, but they were just little soft serve squorts. Oh well. They can't all be winners, right?

eNjoy.

15 December: Wednesday splobmookin.

Didn't poo Tuesday. Wednesday's poo was a big, gooey loaf. Nice looking poo. Sort of curls in on itself. Nice, smooth color and consistency. Not much else to say. It's poo. That's why we're all here!

eNjoy.

13 December: Monday chorglirtle.

So, another week started working from home. Working at home, pooing at home. Working and pooing, pooing and working. The working never stops. The pooing never stops. It. Never  stops. But that's okay--gives me something to blog about!

eNjoy.

12 December: Sunday slogjinner.

Started off the week with a good poo. 3 sips into my first cup of coffee... And I had to poo. And this poo came trundling out of my ass like it was on a mission. Whatever mission it had was cut short by the flush. The flush to oblivion. Excuse me while I wax poetic. 

eNjoy.

11 December: Saturday splimehoger.

Still feeling the effects of the Tex-Mex meal Thursday night. I decided to post two pictures of today's poo. One with flash, the other without. Generally the flash pictures are better. But in today's poo, you can see more definition in the no-flash pic. It almost looks like two different poos. The flash pic looks a bit different because as I turned the flash on on my phone, the turds shifted a bit. Interesting comparison.

eNjoy.

10 December: Friday fringdoggle.

Are dinner at a Tex-Mex place the night before. Had a bug, fat steak burrito in hot sauce. Really hot sauce. The hot sauce cave back to bite me Friday morning. Really bite me. And the poo is a big fat pile of ooey, gooey goodness. What's more to say?

eNjoy.

9 December: Thursday ploothkimber.

Dropped a big pile 'o poo Thursday. Not really exciting but you can see some food bits: I'm not sure what the orange bits are, but, still fun. Any guesses on what the bits are?

eNjoy.

8 December: Wednesday flialbooge.

Big, fat solid log. These happen occasionally. Always nice to see. Completely submerged, so I had to take the pic at an angle to avoid the flash. But the best pic. Oh well 

eNjoy.

7 December: Tuesday smoikplunner.

So, really really pungent poo Tuesday. I rarely can smell the food I ate the day before in my poo. I had sauteed onions with my t-bone steak Monday and I could definitely smell the onions in my poo on Tuesday. Very pungent, oniony smell. So, kind of cool. Smelling food in my poo. I'll have to eat more pungent food in 2022 to see what happens. And if it happens again, I'll certainly blog about it!

eNjoy 

6 December: Monday chlodgersploot.

So, this is a big, fat load. I could tell when I was squeezing this out it was going to be a big poo. Felt like I was squeezing this out for 10 minutes. Big, juicy logs. Nice, rich, brown color. I must say--this was a satisfying poo. I dropped this load and felt like I had accomplished something. Good way to start off the work week.

eNjoy.

5 December: Sunday flumpkack.

Big gooey load on Sunday. Pale colored poo. Greenish. Plobbish. Wait, the foul deed wins. Sometimes, when I consider, the wild ways present themselves. There you go.

eNjoy.

4 December: Saturday double flubcheezer.

So, I didn't poo yesterday (Friday). And because I pigged out last night, I knew today would be a big poo day. And I wasn't wrong. First poo came during my first cup of coffee. Second poo came after a big lunch of Chick-Fil-A chicken sandwich and peppermint milkshake. Yum. So, two big loads. Big poo day. I feel like I got a lot accomplished in the bathroom today. You're welcome.

eNjoy.

2 December: Thursday flopjenyoid.

So, didn't poo on Wednesday. That happens. Wasn't sure if I'd poo on Thursday. But I did. What a poo. Not the biggest. But the prettiest. But maybe the coolest. Looks like a weird, alien worm. I wouldn't have been surprised if this thing came slithering out of the toilet!

eNjoy.

30 November: Tuesday ploobersjortz.

So, Tuesday's poo was a big, soupy mess. It was a big plop. But, there were a couple of little poo pods floating on top. I'm not sure how they were formed, but I thought they were kind of cool, so I decided to showcase them. I had to enlarge them a lot so they are kind of fuzzy. 

eNjoy.

29 November: Monday clobchouncey.

So, day off today, and had a nice poo. It's a clubberly and clunky poo. Sort of bold and blonky. A big fat poo up follow what turned out to be a cheat weekend. 

eNjoy.

28 November: Sunday ooflegrimmet.

Big, fat poo log. I pigged out on leftover turkey and stuffing and mashed potatoes the day before. Had a huge plate with eggs for breakfast, and a huge plate for lunch. And that made for a huge log. It was medium, gummy consistency so I was wiping for 5 hours to get clean. That's the only downside to a log like this: a lot of wiping. But hey, it's poo!

eNjoy.

27 November: Saturday jumplingsmeet.

Day after the day after Thanksgiving. Dropped a big fat ploop. This is a big, meaty load. Must still be remnants of Thanksgiving dinner. The dinner that keeps on giving. 

eNjoy.

26 November: Friday florghoobin.

So, day after Thanksgiving poo. A lot of poo. Because I ate a lot of food Thanksgiving day. A LOT. Turkey, oyster stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, oh, and more turkey and stuffing. I was absolutely stuffed. With turkey and stuffing. And that meant a big load Saturday morning. Hey, it's poo!

eNjoy.

24 November: Wednesday chilquotent.

Big, dark, steaming pile of poo. This poo was pungent, probably because most of it was above the water. Just a big, ooey, gooey gloop. Just a big fat, glorby jloop. Ploopy mcdroop. Just a plop. A big, soft serve pile of clompguns. Words don't fail me. Poople. 

eNjoy.

23 November: Tuesday sclumpzonger.

Here it is: poo! Beefy chunklets. Kind of dark. Looks like you can see some food bits. Always fun. Just a good poo pic.

eNjoy.

22 November: Monday chutneygorsk.

So, beginning the Thanksgiving week--with a poo. Actually, that's how I begin most weeks. This was a big fat loaf of a poo. Poo loaf. Thick and meaty. Looks like you can see bits of food in the poo. And that's always fun. You can really tell part of my diet from my poo. What exactly that diet is of hard to say. Anybody care to hazard a guess?

eNjoy.

21 November: Sunday forgeclonner.

Started off the week with a poo! Imagine that! Not an exciting poo, but then, not a big, sloppy mess. Just a midlin' poo. So, there. 

eNjoy.

20 November: Saturday jablunkentoob.

So, I crapped 3 times Saturday. Not surprising considering I didn't crap at all Wednesday, Thursday or Friday. Two of those poos are pictured below. As you know, I've re-started my "slow" carb diet to try and lose weight. When I'm really low carb, I typically don't poo every day. I'm much less regular.

But I don't think I've EVER gone 3 days without pooing. Maybe during my basic military training, when I was going through hell week. Last week I was really stopped up. And at the weigh in yesterday afternoon, I'd only lost .3 pounds. I figure that was at least a pound heavy due to a 3 day load languishing in my bowel. So, there you go. We'll see what happens next week.

First poo this morning was a toilet clogger. Big, fat, heavy log. Medium consistency and gummy. I was wiping for 10 minutes to get clean. Busy time in the bathroom. First poo, good poo pic.

eNjoy.

16 November: Tuesday blorkfinder.

Tuesday poo. Meh. Not exciting. But still poo. The news is that I'm still pooing at home. Still. So all my poos from mid-March 2020 are home poos (outside of vacation poos). It's looking like they're going to want us back in the office, at least part time, after the new year. So, we'll see what happens. For now, home poo is the name of the game.

eNjoy.

15 November: Monday flouqplooner.

Starting off the work week with a nice poo. Drank a lot of vodka the night before, so this is slightly hangover poo. Nice, big fat chunkles. Another of my poos that split between floaters and sinkers. Schizophrenic poo. Yin/yang poo. Always fun.

eNjoy.

14 November: Sunday juicequidle.

Another "normal" poo. As far as poos are normal. At this point, a normal poo is any poo that isn't bloody. Yep, those was scary--look at me, I'm still talking about it. I'm still 98% sure the blood as l was due to hemorrhoids. That's not 💯. I still need to make an appointment with the gastro doc. That's coming. In the meantime, I hope you like my latest creation. 

eNjoy 

13 November: Saturday chibberdoink.

Normal Saturday poo. Big, fat poo log. Cheated last night, drank beer, ate pizza. So, it was nice to have a "normal" poo after a week of not a lot of poo, and the previous week having bloody poo. Is this the poo normal? 

eNjoy.

11 November: Thursday blerndrodder.

So, I crapped 3 times Monday. And then didn't crap Tuesday or Wednesday. Didn't think I'd poo I'm Thursday but, after lunch, the poo finally came. Not a big production. Definitely felt the poo squeeze out, but I didn't have to push--much. And it was a sinker, hence the dim picture. That's okay--it's still poo. And, the best news--no blood 

I still haven't called the gastro doc. Still hesitating. Still hoping it was just hemorrhoids. Yes, I know I'm being a little stupid. But I'm a man. That's what men do 

eNjoy 

8 November: Monday choldingbork.

So, I crapped 3 times Monday. First poo is pictured-- pretty standard poo. And, Moody importantly, no blood. Second two poos came after dinner. I'm not quite sure dinner induced two, small, liquid poos. Dinner was crab stuffed salmon, green beans and cremed spinach. The last poos weren't bloody, although there was the faintest red tinge on my last wipe. 

I haven't made an appointment with the gastro doc yet. That's coming. 

eNjoy.

7 November: Sunday fleekdrummer.

Another day, another bloody poo. And there's more blood here. Seems like a lot more. So, I did some googling yesterday. Research on hemorrhoids. And the consensus seems to be that the blood in my stools is most likely from hemorrhoids. BUT--they also said that if you see blood in your poo, it's a good idea to see a doctor. So that's what I'm going to do. Tomorrow, I'll make an appointment to see my gastro doc. It's just very unnerving seeing blood in my poo. I'll keep you posted.

eNjoy.

6 November: Saturday second blorper.

Pooed again Saturday. The poo was softer, less abusive on my bunghole. No blood. But, a lot of poo. 

eNjoy.

6 November: Saturday cloopsmaterd.

So, as you can see, I dropped another bloody poo this morning. This poo was, again, a hard poo. I had to push. As my readers know, I usually do not have to push. Usually the poo just falls out as soon as I sit down. All I have to do is unflex my bunghole, and--blap. Out comes the poo. When the poo is hard, I guess it tears at the hemorrhoid. Hence, the blood. Normally I only see blood with the second or third poo of the day. The question is, should I see a doctor? The hemorrhoid isn't bothering me otherwise. There's no itching or pain. Although Sunday's third poo was uncomfortable. We'll see. If I keep getting blood in my poo I'll go see a doctor. I'll keep you, gentle reader, posted.

eNjoy.

5 November: Friday bloody quertfloofer.

Didn't poo on Thursday. And Friday's poo was HARD. That's unusual for me. I really had to push. And as you can see, there was blood. Not a lot of blood, but red in poo is never welcome. I'm 99% sure the blood is due to hemorrhoids. I found out I had hemorrhoids at my last colonoscopy. I didn't even know I had them. I have no symptoms, other than occasional bloody poo. There's no pain, no itching. I guess that makes me lucky. My father had hemorrhoids so bad once the only thing he could do for relief was sit in a tub of hot water.

So--bloody poo. Is this the new "normal"? We'll see.

3 November: Wednesday ploogerfilk.

Another regular poo. Very dark. I actually use a filter to lighten it up a bit. Some of my poos are dark brown, and some are light orange. Poo never ceases to amaze me. 

2 November: Tuesday chumpguddler.

Didn't poo on Monday--after Sunday's bloody debacle. Tuesday's poo was fairly normal. Actually it was a pretty good poo. And not a bad poo pic. Blocky and chunky. Glocky and glunky. Poo as poo. Poo as storge. There you go 

eNjoy.