28 Apr: Sunday gloomergrunkle.

So I FEASTED yesterday. Big fat Taco Bell breakfast burrito and cinnamon delights and a Baja Blast slushie for breakfast. Caramel frappuchino from Starbucks. Big fat McDonald's mushroom Swiss burger, fries and chocolate shake for lunch. Fried catfish and BBQ pork tips for dinner. And lots of grapefruit vodka and tonic to wash it down. Oh, and another big fat piece of Toblerone chocolate cake. Yum. I stuffed myself all day. And all of that made for and interesting poo. Notice the marbling of the nugget middle top of the picture. Cropped and framed just right, this poo is a work of art.

eNjoy.

27 Apr: Saturday brunglequorb.

So, feasted Friday night. Pizza, beer, vodka and, believe it or not, Toblerone chocolate cake. Yum! But the poo Saturday morning was unspectacular. Sort of fluffy chuglets. Glumpy florplets. Pooey, gooey blooplets.

eNjoy.

26 Apr: Friday flungleblort.

Work poo. Wasn't expecting to poo. But I did. Your gain!  With the same, lame work poo lighting. Your loss. But-- nice sized, medium thickness, coiled loggette. Kind of a cool poo. Not a soft poo mess. No soup here.

eNjoy.

25 Apr: Thursday scloobleglump.

Pooed twice on Monday, the second poo was completely liquid. So I guess that cleaned me out, because I didn't poo again until Thursday. Work poo. Kind of a long, snaky, lumpy poo log. Not really interesting, but not but not a sloppy, liquid mess. Better than nothing. Still poo.

eNjoy.

22 Apr: Monday blorple.

Working from home. Pretty standard post cheat weekend poo. If it was grayish or pinkish it could look like brain tissue. It's always something a little different with poo. One of the reasons I like documenting my poo.

eNjoy.

21 Apr: Sunday glumphert.

So I was lying in bed this morning, trying to go back to sleep. And then I got those old familiar intestinal rumblings.  It was clear I wasn't going back to sleep-- I was going to the bathroom. And the poo below was the result. Big pile of post cheat-day, ooey, gooey poo. Big pile 'o poo. Not a log. Not a pole. A pile. That's my poo!

eNjoy.

20 Apr: Saturday frumptunnel.

So, I pooed Tuesday, and didn't poo again until today! That's no poo Wednesday, Thursday or Friday! That's a good thing in that in that it makes it clear that I'm maintaining a low carb diet. It's not so good in that I'm not dropping a lot of poo loads! Not as many pics! I must admit, it is satisfying to take a big crap every day. But oh well. This poo was dark, soft, gooey and gummy. I had to wipe my ass four times to make sure it was clean. So hear it is, my four day load.

eNjoy.

16 Apr: Tuesday trubblefleem.

Worked from home Tuesday and took a nice comfortable home crap. Not a huge poo, but a good pic. It's about the quality, not necessarily the quantity, right? Although, I will admit, dropping a giant load and getting a picture is kind of satisfying.

eNjoy.

15 Apr: Monday tax-day krimpledorg.

Working from home today and had a nice poo. I was low carb Sunday, but still had enough carbs in my system to crap today. Kind of a gloogy looking poo, but what the hell--it's still poo! And even when poo isn't pretty, it's still poo! I can't say it enough--poo in the bowl is better than poo stuck inside you!

eNjoy

14 Apr: Sunday schlooblefrump.

Pooed twice on Saturday, but I also feasted Saturday night at a neighborhood block party. Drank lots of beer and ate lots of MEAT; big cuts of lamb, and deer and pork sausage, mac and cheese, potato salad and other tidbits. I ate a lot. And the poo that feast produced is below. It's cheat day feast poo.

eNjoy.

13 Apr: Saturday double phlibblescumper.

So, didn't poo Thursday or Friday. That's what happens when I'm eating low carb. I just don't poo as much. But I cheated Friday night, and Frank beer and are pizza. So I was expecting a big poo day on Saturday. And poo I did. Twice. First time was right after I started my first cup of coffee. It wasn't a huge poo, but it is a pretty good poo pic. Second poo came about four hours later. Second poo was a gloop, but still a poo. It was a good poo day.

eNjoy.

10 Apr: Wednesday clumpersklinner.

Didn't poo on Tuesday. Wednesday's poo was a work poo, so the lighting is bad, and it's not an interesting poo. What am I gonna do? I eat, I poo. I poo what I poo. I make no apologies for my poo. You have a problem? Send a text to my colon.

eNjoy.

8 Apr: Monday glumpty.

Day off on Monday and I had a nice post weekend feast poo. Unfortunately, it was not an exciting poo. Remember what I say: they can't all be winners.

eNjoy.

7 Apr: Sunday flubberpoot.

So, ate like a horse yesterday, because it was cheat day. On cheat day, I eat and drink anything I want. I drink beer, and eat bread, and cinnamon rolls, and pasta and whatever else strikes my fancy. And because I'm low carb the rest of the week, I can still lost weight. But poos after cheat day are usually more normal for me, that is, loose. Soft. Gooey. That was this morning's poo. Ooey, gooey poo.

eNjoy.

6 Apr: Saturday double droobglumper.

Didn't poo Friday, which I expected. I fast Friday during the day, so no intake to help trigger a poo. This morning I drank coffee upon waking, and guess what? I had to poo! Regular poo--not hard, not soft.  I got a close up, and then cropped the picture for texture. You can really see all of the ooey, gooey goodness. It also makes it look like it's three feet long. The poo wasn't as big as it looks.

Second poo came about 6 pm. Wasn't expected, but after a big Arby's brisket sandwich at 3, I guess it shouldn't have been. This was kind of a glorpy poo pile.

eNjoy.

4 Apr: Thursday gligglesplob.

Pooed again Thursday. It's almost like I'm eating a lot of carbs. This is a little smaller poo log, but still representin'. Not bad for a work poo.

eNjoy.

3 Apr: Wednesday splugtwaddle.

So, I wasn't expecting to poo today. Not after the giant dump I took in the morning (which made the blog), and second dump I took in the evening (which didn't). But poo I did. About an hour after I got work, as I was getting ready for a meeting. Got the old familiar rumblings, and decided to take care of it before the meeting. Probably not half the size of yesterday's morning dumper, still a respectably sized log. I'm beginning to wonder where all of this poo if coming from. My colon has been working overtime. Poo tomorrow? Who knows?

eNjoy.

2 Apr: Tuesday hublump.

Didn't poo Monday, but that was expected because I crapped three times on Sunday. I wasn't sure if I'd poo today, but after the gym and lunch, I definitely had to poo. What did I have for lunch? Salad. A big salad. Salad does it to me every time. And the result? I knew this poo was substantial when it was sliding out of asshole. My bunghole should get an academy award for this shit. Almost two feet long. Solid, brown perfectly formed tube of gloriousness. Behold its wonder. Bathe in its beautiful light. Mic drop. You're welcome.

eNjoy.

31 Mar: Sunday vroilunch.

Still crapping--a lot. Saturday was cheat day, so a big ooey, gooey poo is expected on Sunday. And this is a big, ooey gooey poo. If you use your imagination, the poo looks like a top down view of a mountain range. If that mountain range was in the desert. And it looked like poo. 

I crapped twice more on Sunday. One after I ate out and had a big salad (salads ALWAYS make me poo), and then again later in the day (still feeling the digestive effects of the salad). Neither were pooagenic enough to make it into this blog.

eNjoy.

30 Mar: Saturday sludgefodder.

So, I always feast Friday night, after breaking my Friday fast. I eat and drink whatever I want. I drink beer, and eat pizza and donuts. Whatever. That means Saturday's poo is usually a mess. Usually pretty loose, lighter colored. This Saturday was no exception. Looks like chicken tenders arranged to form a Chinese character. If you know what it means, let me know.

eNjoy.

29 Mar: Friday flugledrumph.

So, it wasn't expecting a package Friday, after staying low carb during the week, and pooing Wednesday and Thursday. And what poos they were! And--I fasted all day Friday! But poo I did on Friday. I went to see a movie right after work ("Us"), and had a tub of popcorn. When I got home, I had to poo. Kind of a mess of a poo. A gangly, splobbity mess of a poo, with a glazed chocolate bobbin on top. The only way I can describe it. Not an exciting poo, but a poo none-the-less.

eNjoy.

28 Mar: Thursday brumbleflad.

So, I didn't expect a poo on Thursday. Not after the load I dropped the day before. But poo I did. About two and a half hours after I got to work. And what a poo it was. Serious poo log. I'm definitely not used to pinching this kind of loaf. A perfect brown cylinder of poo. Really, a work of art. My asshole would win first place with this shit at the county fair. Mic drop moment. You're welcome.

eNjoy.

27 Mar: Wednesday glamgoidle.

So, true to form, I didn't poo Tuesday. But I certainly did on Wednesday. And, as expected, the mid-week, low carb log rule is still in effect. Big, long serious log poo. I knew when I dropped this bad boy that it was going to be a serious poo. Bingo. What have I been saying? (What's the saying on the apartments.com commercial? "Change your apartment, change the world." I say: "Change what you eat, change your poo!"

eNjoy.